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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317501">dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wytchgrove/pseuds/wytchgrove'>wytchgrove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Fluff, M/M, Trans Male Richie Tozier, Unplanned Pregnancy, original child character - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:29:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317501</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wytchgrove/pseuds/wytchgrove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So Richie had made quite the name for himself after coming out as gay when he was only twenty three, riding high off his newfound fame, he decided to hell with it.</p><p>It had actually been such a flippant comment thrown in a set one night, off the cuff, unprepared and after the massive silence, he thought he was done for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. oh, my life, is changing every day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The story title and each chapter of this fic are from the song Dreams by The Cranberries please check it out this instant.</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So Richie had made quite the name for himself after coming out as gay when he was only twenty three, riding high off his newfound fame, he decided to <em>hell </em>with it.</p><p>It had actually been such a flippant comment thrown in a set one night, off the cuff, unprepared and after the massive silence, he thought he was done for.</p><p>But then the motherfucking <em>cheer</em>, loud enough to blow the roof off the venue, they were whooping and whistling and some even standing. It shook him so thoroughly to his core that he was nearly brought to his knees, that was as far as he could restrain himself though, because tears definitely fell, and then he said how thankful he was to receive such a reception to coming out. Something he hadn’t even <em>planned</em>, because <em>of course</em> he hadn’t, Eddie had said later that night with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>He managed to finish his set, adapting his shitty girlfriend jokes, and swapping her out for his actual boyfriend, and then when he had left the venue, nothing had been the same again.</p><p>He was all over social media and news outlets, in paper and online, shock at his coming out, and while there were the slim few that had problems with it, the overall response was incredibly supportive.</p><p>His Instagram blew up almost as soon as he posted his first picture of him and Eddie, and the impact went further than just support.</p><p>Fans came to him with stories of their own coming outs, and how they now felt they could be themselves without remorse, he <em>inspired </em>them. That always threw him when they said that.</p><p>He hadn’t realised how influential and important the platform he had made for himself was until then, and it was something he now took very seriously.</p><p>He was outspoken on twitter when it came to opinions on the political climate and how everyone should just be allowed to be themselves, love who they want to love and just be who they want to be.</p><p>It didn’t take him long to find out just how many transgender fans he had as well.</p><p>Now that, <em>that</em> got to him, and while he loved every single one of them, of course he did, it also made him feel extremely guilty and fraudulent, that they were congratulating him for finally being himself and thanking him because now they could be too.</p><p>But he wasn’t being completely himself.</p><p>He was trans too, and still no one but his friends and family knew that about him.</p><p>He couldn’t help but feel that time was running out for him to come out about it, because the longer he left it, the more people thought he was actually being true to himself and prompting them to do the same.</p><p>And while they were, he wasn’t, and he felt like a hypocrite for it.</p><p>How could he keep preaching about being yourself when he was still hiding a massive part of his own self?</p><p>Only a few months after his big coming out, he decided enough was enough.</p><p>He had to honour his fans and the mantra they had almost made their own, “Be yourself, without fucking remorse,” Of course they had to have a slur in there for their beloved Trashmouth.</p><p>Because he was more of a coward this time around, he didn’t come out on stage in front of an audience.</p><p>He came out live on Instagram.</p><p>Still with an audience, because Richie found out he apparently required immediate validation for shit he did but he couldn’t do this face to face. A live story was a good in between he decided.</p><p>“Okay, hey there everyone, looks like lots of people are still joining so let’s take a minute to check in, yeah? How’s everyone out there doing? Hope the world is treating you all well?” he begins, another reason his fans loved him so much was that he really seemed to love them in return, he genuinely cared about every single one of them, and he showed it.</p><p>He would retweet his fans and reply to as many of them as he could on posts, same with Instagram, he would share artwork and stories they had created about him and Eddie. It was actually funny how the whole fanfiction thing started.</p><p>One went viral in a matter of days after his coming out, but everyone started coming to him, telling him like it would upset him.</p><p>He found the person on twitter, who had released a slew of apologetic tweets about the situation and they really didn’t mean to seem intrusive etc, he immediately sent them a direct message to reassure them, then retweeted their story saying how much he welcomed it and that he thought it was a creative outlet that shouldn’t be stunted.</p><p>He all but ordered they do it, with Eddie’s permission of course, and even stated “the more explicit the better!”, which had Eddie scoffing and rolling his eyes, warning him that he had no idea what he was really letting himself in for and he would regret it, Richie laughed back that he wouldn’t.</p><p>He still didn’t.</p><p>When he finally let rip on the live stream that he was indeed trans, they were all alarmingly supportive and in response to his stream media outlets posted about it of course. He made waves among his fan base, way more than he had with announcing he was gay and had become a role model for them, something he had never dreamed would happen.</p><p>He even joked on twitter that he was all out of shock revelations for now, and it became a running joke between him and his fans.</p><p>Oh if only he knew.</p><p>It’s two years later, and things couldn’t be going better, he and Eddie had upgraded their tiny one bed apartment in a not so great neighbourhood in New York, for a much larger two bed condo in Los Angeles. He was at the height of his career, he was going on larger tours across the country and there were even talks between his manager and the producers of Netflix about the possibility of a one hour special, and even further down the line to a full on movie length special if that first one proved successful.</p><p>He had big plans in the making and he really did not need something coming up to, not exactly <em>ruin</em> it, but at least put a hold on it for a while.</p><p>Anyone who knew Richie, knew he lived his life fast paced, he was always onto the next thing, the next idea because that was what his attention span called for.</p><p>So for Richie to take time off, even one day, was something he did not do too often, the thought of taking a <em>whole year</em>, which he would definitely have to if his suspicions were correct, was too much for him to cope with.</p><p>The past few weeks his stomach had been playing up, he was feeling extremely run down, tired, heavy and nearly constantly nauseous.</p><p>Richie decided that maybe he was just exhausting himself, and he would ignore it for as long as possible, which meant despite coming to that conclusion he continued as normal.</p><p>Boy, did Richie regret that later though when he found himself running off stage at a local venue in LA one night to puke into the nearest trash can.</p><p>He took that as his cue to not put it off any longer and he had to send out his manager to say sorry that Richie couldn’t continue the show but they would re-do the show at another time. If anyone could not do the new date then they would get a refund.</p><p>With that over, and feeling extremely horrid for doing that to his fans although he hoped they would understand if his hunch was correct, he drove as fast he could to the nearest pharmacist/CVS and then sped home, luckily not getting pulled over.</p><p>And that is how Richie Tozier ended up sitting on the edge of his bathtub in the master bathroom he shared with Eddie, waiting anxiously for some results.</p><p>Eddie wasn’t home because he had one day a week that he would work later, until about 9, and that happened to be today because he would have been home before Richie’s show ended if it had gone to plan.</p><p>It was currently 8:45, meaning he would be home in about half an hour as traffic normally let up around this time.</p><p>He realised he really didn’t get through much of his show at all if that was the time.</p><p>His legs were twitching like crazy, he had one minute left and then he would know for sure what was happening.</p><p>In one minute their lives could change forever.</p><p>Fuck, it’s crazy how one minute in time can do that isn’t it?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. you're a dream to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie stood, stock still, frozen with an unbridled (and completely irrational he was sure) fear. Eyes blown wide as sweat gathered on his forehead and dripped down his neck, hands slack at his sides.</p><p>
  <em>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck<b>FUCK</b></em>
</p><p>The word was a mantra in his head at the moment, the only thought he could comprehend as he stared down at the little white stick that just turned his plans and subsequent future on its axis.</p><p>This was not supposed to happen.</p><p>He was on T. Eddie had even had a vasectomy. They were supposed to adopt when they were older and Richie had fulfilled most, if not all, of his dreams for his career. When they could settle down, when they were <em>ready</em>.</p><p>He couldn’t breathe, fuck, he knew he was making a bigger deal out of this in his head than he needed to, the small rational part of his brain was trying to fight the overwhelming fear clouding his thoughts, people got pregnant all the fucking time. It’s not supposed to be a big deal.</p><p>But it was to Richie, and while he was standing in his bathroom alone with no one to side with the tiny rational part of him, he couldn’t help but freak the fuck out.</p><p>He didn’t want to be pregnant. It was never something he considered. He was a man for fuck sake.</p><p>Well he thought he was.</p><p>Oh, fucking great, here’s a new round of mental battering from his newly realised insecurities.</p><p>He finally, <em>finally</em>, closed his eyes. He tried taking a deep breath, but he choked on it and it turned into a sob.</p><p>Before he knew it he was collapsed on the bathroom floor, he could barely get another sob out of him, tears already streaming down his face when he lunged for the toilet and everything he had eaten that day decided to make an unwelcome appearance.</p><p>He coughed up the last bit of bile, spitting the remnants from his mouth and flushing the toilet.</p><p>His vision was blurry, his glasses lost in the scuffle to the toilet, and tears still streaming. He was dizzy, lightheaded, and suddenly very fucking exhausted.</p><p>He really needed to brush his teeth.</p><p>But his body had other plans and decided now was a good time to lie down, so he unceremoniously fell to the floor.</p><p>He rested his cheek on the cool bathroom tiles, trying to steady his breathing, the cold brought him out of his head, it was something to focus on, away from his swirling mind.</p><p>He really needed Eddie.</p><p>Fuck, <em>Eddie</em>, how was he going to react? What the fuck were they going to do?</p><p>God, he <em>really </em>needed Eddie here. Needed him to soothe and calm his raging mind, to help him through this.</p><p>A memory flickered through his mind, remembering that he should be home soon.</p><p>He should really get up and clean himself up, so he doesn’t freak Eddie out.</p><p>Too late.</p><p>“Richie? What the fuck? Are you okay? Fucking Jesus,” and as if summoned Eddie was there before Richie could bring himself to move, how did he not hear him enter the house?</p><p>Damn he was really out of it, wasn’t he?</p><p>Then Eddie was on his knees in front of him, pushing the hair from his face, he tried to get his eyes to focus on the glorious face in front of him, but they just wouldn’t.</p><p>“Hey, Richie, honey, can you tell me what happened? Are you okay?” he asked, his voice steady, and Richie could tell he was trying his hardest not to panic.</p><p>“M’was sick,” he managed to mumble out and then he remembered why he was sick in the first place and his face scrunched up, renewed tears falling from his eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Eddie, please, I’m so sorry,” he rambled out between sobs, his body convulsing with the force of them.</p><p>Eddie’s eyes widened as he looked upon his crumbling partner before him, concern lacing his features, his hands cradling and stroking Richie’s face, wiping the tears, he bent to place his lips softly on Richie’s sweaty brow, “You were sick, you can’t help it, you have nothing to apologise for,” he said softly, trying he best reassure him.</p><p>Richie shook his head and immediately regretted it because the dizziness came back with a vengeance and his stomach twisted, bile already rising in his throat.</p><p>It seems Eddie could tell by the look on his face what was about to happen and reacted quickly, helping Richie to sit up and led him as quick as he could to the toilet.</p><p>Richie gripped the sides of the basin until his knuckles were pure white with the force that he convulsed, his body shaking uncontrollably.</p><p>He was vaguely aware of Eddie’s gentle fingers holding his hair from his face as the other hand rubbed up and down his back. His strong presence calmed Richie immensely and he couldn’t be more relieved that Eddie was finally here with him.</p><p>When he was done, he flushed the toilet and sat back, Eddie guiding him to his chest. He leaned on Eddie, solid, firm and <em>strong</em> behind him. His hands rubbed his arms, trying to calm the shivers wracking his form, then they moved to his head, stroking the sweat from his brow, then through his hair, massaging lightly, his finger nails scraping ever so gently on his scalp. Placing gentle kisses on his crown every now and then.</p><p>His breathing slowed, the shivers lessened, and his racing mind stopped, just focusing on Eddie’s reassuring presence surrounding him.</p><p>“Do you feel ready to stand?” Eddie said, voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>“Can we sit a little longer?” he asked back, his voice small and croaky from the abuse it just received.</p><p>Eddie placed another kiss on his hair, and spoke into it, “Sure,” he whispered, his arms going around Richie’s chest under his arms.</p><p>Richie placed his hands on the arms clasped around him and kept his eyes closed, breathing easy at last.</p><p>He didn’t want to ruin the comfortable silence they had fallen into, but he had to get it out there, he needed Eddie to know.</p><p>“There’s I have to tell you… about why I was sick,” he began, already feeling the small trembles reappearing, but before he could freak out completely, Eddie spoke.</p><p>“I know,” he said, his voice so quiet that Richie nearly missed it.</p><p>He frowned, and as if Eddie could sense his confusion helped alleviate it.</p><p>“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” he asked, so calmly, Richie could hardly believe it. Eddie Kaspbrak, who couldn’t handle the slightest of changes to plans because he was the biggest control freak Richie knew, sounded so accepting of the possibility of their lives being turned on its head so suddenly, was so calm he could have been asking about the weather.</p><p>Richie couldn’t sit like this any longer, he needed to see Eddie’s face for this. He sat up and turned in Eddie’s arms, not quite leaving his embrace. Eddie’s arm stayed strong around him as he knelt before him, his own hands falling to Eddie’s shoulders.</p><p>If Richie was shocked before it was nothing compared to the soft smile that was on Eddie’s face as his eyes fell on him.</p><p>Richie blinked owlishly at him, eyes wide and mouth agape.</p><p>He frowned, “H-How-How-<em>How</em>-” he tried before cutting himself off, just letting the confusion on his face speak for him.</p><p>Eddie chuckled, “Always so eloquent, Rich,” and he leaned forward to press a small kiss to Richie’s clammy forehead.</p><p>“I’m gonna need you to elaborate here for me buddy,” he said, coming back to his normal self.</p><p>Eddie just smiled again, amusement lighting his features, “So I’m right?” he quipped back.</p><p>Richie nodded, his throat closing.</p><p>Eddie’s hands came up hold Richie’s face gently, his thumbs rubbing ever so softly under his eyes, “How do you feel about it?” he asked, his eyes fixed on Richie’s, searching.</p><p>Richie swallowed heavily, and took a deep breath, “I- I don’t know… I mean, I’m fucking scared as hell, but… but I think- I think I’m ha-happy about it? Like, I don’t know, I’m- I think- I think I want this, but- but I’m so- <em>fuck</em>,” he cut himself, feeling his eyes tear up and growing more frustrated that he couldn’t formulate a fucking sentence.</p><p>He buried his head in Eddie’s neck, unable to look at his face right now, after confessing -<em>stuttering- </em>how he felt.</p><p>Eddie’s arms went back around Richie, holding him close, one hand went to the back of his head, stroking the hair there, cradling him.</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay to be scared, and it’s okay to want this, I want this too,” he said, and Richie sniffled into his neck.</p><p>“Really?” he asked in a small voice, which was unusual for him.</p><p>Eddie’s arms tightened around him, not constricting but comforting, “Yes,” he said in a strong voice.</p><p>“We’ll get through this together, okay? I’m here, for you, for anything you need, I’ll always be here, I’m not going anywhere,” He continued, his voice stronger and so full of emotion, it made Richie tear up more. Fuck, these hormones. He could blame them now.</p><p>He started to sob into Eddie’s neck, not really knowing why, it felt cathartic more than anything else. He had been in denial for weeks, not wanting to accept this was a possibility, not wanting to accept that everything would change, not wanting to accept that maybe Eddie would reject him for it or be angry or upset.</p><p>He knew now just how irresponsible it was of him to even entertain that Eddie would ever be anything but supportive of him, and he tried his hardest to squash down the guilt, but it rose anyway in ugly sobs.</p><p>Eddie just continued to stroke his hair and back, rocking him slightly on the floor, as he let out all the emotions that had been eating away at him for the past few weeks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm back! And with a doozy of a chapter it seems! Hope you enjoyed it, and thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments so far, every single one of you is hugely appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And there it is! The start of something new. I was going to do this as a standalone story of thousands of words, but decided on splitting it up into chapters instead as it works better like that to me right now! </p><p>I was heavily inspired by recent fics by ShowMeAHero, who has written a few fics involving a trans Eddie or Richie and I couldn't help jumping on that train! </p><p>I will also make sure to update my other multi chap fic, so please bear with me!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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